We get an awful lot of queries via email, message and in the Kitchen Witch facebook group about love spells...
So here are my thoughts...this is my humble opinion, you don't have to take on board what I think...and it is a little bit of a rant...
We get variations on a theme but here are the two main scenarios:
My husband has left me and moved in with another woman. He would not have done that on his own so I believe the other woman has put a spell on him. I want to cast a spell that will bring him back.
OK...you know what? Sometimes life sucks and this happens, there is usually no occult connection at all and the 'other woman' is not a witch/druid/wizard/sorcerer/rootworker or even remotely spiritual or magical.
Firstly I am not sure I would want a man back that had left me for another woman but maybe that's just me. Secondly have you spoken to your husband? Have you asked him why? Does his explanation seem reasonable? Maybe the husband had a good reason to leave or maybe it was just one of those life experiences that happens.
My wife has left me and our children and I want her back, she should be here in the home being a wife and mother. I want a spell to bring her back.
Well...I wonder why she left? How do we know that the husband is a good husband? Maybe she left because she fell out of love (it happens) maybe she left because he was horrible! We just don't know. And any spell to bring her back would be working against her own free will, what right have you/we got to demand she return? Have you spoken to her? Have you tried to win her back with love, affection and attention? Have you asked her why she left?
The trouble is with most of these situations we don't know all the details or the facts and we never get both sides of the story and even if we did what business is it of ours and who can guarantee that what someone says is the truth?
Why do people think the solution is to just throw a spell at it? Relationships are hard work, they take time and effort and if you don't put that into it then things go wrong, heck things go wrong in relationships anyway, that's life, it isn't a bed of roses (which is a strange phrase as lying on a bed of roses would be very uncomfortable me thinks). Do the work...see what you can do to resolve the issues but sometimes it just happens and there isn't a thing you can do about it but deal with the situation as best you can and move on with your life.
The other scenario is being asked for a love spell to attract a soul mate, often this is for someone specific and I have to say...this can only end badly. Back to free will here...do you really want to cast a spell and have the man/woman of your desire go out with you purely on the strength of a spell? Wouldn't you rather know that someone was with you because they truly liked you?
Love spells are useful for drawing a soul mate as long as you aren't particularly targeting a specific person, in fact they work very well if you want to spice up your current love life or keep fidelity in your relationship.
When you want to write that love spell to attract someone to you I would recommend you really leave it fairly loosely worded and up to the universe, it usually knows best because what we want isn't always what we need.
Think about this...
If you ask specifically for someone with a good sense of humour you may get someone that treats life as a complete joke...the whole time.
If you ask specifically for someone to treat you like a lady you may end up with someone that expects you to do all the housework, cleaning, tidying, washing, ironing and have his dinner on the table at night.
If you ask specifically for someone wealthy you may get it but you may also end up with someone that works all the hours under the sun and never has time for you. Do you see where I am going with this?
Just think carefully about it.
Spells have a habit of going off in unexpected directions...
Love is special, love is wonderful when it works and relationships when they are tended and fed can be amazing but it all takes work, not the 'light a candle and throw some herbs at it' kind of work but the real time, effort, communication, trust and spending time together kind of work.
Blog originally posted on 3.1.16 via Beneath the Moon on Patheos Pagan
Image from Unsplash