Recognising, Acknowledging, and Accepting
One of the first steps to taking control of your emotions is to recognise the character traits that are causing issues or the bad habits or cycles you have gotten caught up in. Without recognising them, it is difficult to move forward. Some of them are there for good, others can be tweaked a little, and a few can be removed completely. You are who you are. DNA and the influences you had growing up will have set a few of them in stone. But by realising what they are and acknowledging them, you can choose what to do with them.
Each of us is an individual, and we are all motivated by different things.
Don’t make yourself ill by doing what you think you ought to rather than saying no for the benefit of your mental and emotional health.
The world is full of people; some good, others not so much. You will meet a few difficult people along the way. They all have their own story. Remember their story is not yours.
Once you have worked out what your prompts are, then you can learn to recognise and deal with any issues, hopefully before they present themselves too strongly.
Remember to accept that “stuff happens” as well. You cannot be expected to deal with everything all at once, and even once you are familiar with it all, sometimes issues slip through the net. Once you catch it, you can deal with it.
Usually, but not always, there will be an underlying cause for any of the icky emotions such as stress, grief, anxiety, and all the other “band members.” There are situations that trigger us into letting emotions take over. It may be obvious what the cause is, such as a death in the family, a miscarriage, loss of a job, or a busy schedule at work. But sometimes it isn’t obvious, and those causes may take a little bit of research to uncover. Some issues, such as depression, can be deeply rooted and may even go back to your childhood. This is where shadow work comes into its own.
Shadow work is a process that uncovers that which lies hidden in the shadows of your mind, your psyche, and your past. Humans do tend to bury uncomfortable things and hide them in the dark. Shining light on to these “shadows” will help uncover them and allow you to deal with it.
Shadow work can bring up some unpleasant memories and stir up a heap load of emotions. Be prepared for a possible bumpy road ahead. Just keep bearing in mind that the work you put in will be rewarding at the end. Although I say “end,” I have found shadow work is the gift that just keeps giving. Once you have started, the work continues and is always present. It puts you in a frame of mind that keeps you open to recognising patterns and triggers even when you weren’t aware you were still working with them. But don’t worry, that’s a good thing!
We all have a habit of getting ourselves into cycles and bad patterns. Once we uncover and recognise what it is we have been caught up in, we can look at it with a different perspective and break the chain or change the direction.
I know all of the above sounds straightforward in theory, and I also know that it won’t all be easy. But if you truly want to work through the dark bits, there will be a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the rainbow. Well, maybe not gold, but at least a slice of cake.
The Everyday Practical Stuff
Before we move onto the magical and, quite frankly, far more interesting stuff, I do want to cover some of the mundane options that might help you feel like your best self.
Sometimes stress is caused by taking on too much or your hectic workload. Planning ahead, knowing what you are doing and when you need to be doing it, and also where you need to be on any given date is a must for not getting stressed.
Practical changes are a good place to start. For example:
Make time for yourself. However busy your week is, make sure there is some time set aside for you. Do what makes you happy.
Set aside movie time. This one isn’t always easy if you have a house full of teenagers like I do. But if you can schedule in at least a couple of hours a week, or even a month, to sit and watch your favourite movie with a cup of tea or glass of wine and a bowl of popcorn, it will really help.
Don’t forget about date nights. If you are in a relationship, making time for each other is seriously important.
Get crafty. Knit, crochet, sew, paint, or write. Make sure you slot in some time to do the craft things that you enjoy.
It’s Good to Talk
Getting support is very helpful. If you are in a relationship, please do talk to your partner. Communication goes a whole heap of a way to getting them to understand what is going on with you and being able to support you with it all. If you don’t have a partner, what about a parent or sibling? Teacher, mentor, or friend? And if you really feel completely alone then reach out—the world has provided support telephone helplines and networks for people that are struggling. Do a Google search for a national number or a centre in your area where you can just talk to someone. Alternatively, reach out on social media. There are support groups set up on some of the social sites, and there are always people happy to listen and lend support when you post that you are struggling. You don’t have to deal with anything on your own—reach out.
Take Control of Your Health
When your health is not good, your moods and emotions find themselves in sync with it. It can be a cycle that you get pulled into, and it may even feel never-ending. But any cycle can be broken. The first step is self-care. Seeking out professional medical advice is paramount. If you have ailments, get them diagnosed properly. Then work out a course of medication. I would never advocate self-diagnosis. (Seriously, if you Google your symptoms, most of us would have already died from the black death.) Also, never self-medicate even with herbal remedies—in fact, sometimes more so with herbal remedies. They can be extremely potent; some are toxic, and others can react with prescription or over-the-counter medications in adverse ways.
Living with depression is like living under your own little black rain cloud. Depression is described as being in severe despondency and dejection. When you think of depression, you may think of words like misery, unhappiness, sorry, gloom, despair, etc.
Like most emotional issues, depression can range from mild to severe and can come and go without warning. One of the most common symptoms of depression is fatigue, but symptoms are different for everyone. You might feel sad or not be interested in usual events and projects. You may lose your appetite or have trouble sleeping. You may experience lack of concentration or have difficulty making decisions. In very severe cases, depression may cause a person to think about taking their own life. Please do seek medical assistance if you think you are suffering from depression—help is out there. Medication and psychotherapy can be very effective treatments for depression.
Follow your intuition and be guided by it as to what you choose to work with.
Affirmations. Regular positive statements can change the way we think about ourselves and our situations.
Colour Magic. Colour plays an important part in how we feel and can affect our emotions; work with it to boost positive energy.
Foods. All food has magical properties.
Herbal Teas. These can be created with herbs and spices that help alleviate negative issues.
Incense and Oils. Scents can bring up strong emotions. Ccreate incense blends or oil blends to use in ritual or spell work. You can also create these blends just because the scent will lift your mood!
Everyday Exercise. Find easy daily or regular routines to help get your positive energy flowing and get rid of the negative vibes.
Crystals. They hold such power in tiny, easy-to-handle form. Crystals can be worked with in all sorts of ways to help with all kinds of issues.
Meditation. Read through the script or even record it on your phone. Take some time out and work with the meditation for help and guidance.
Spell. You will find spells to help with any issue. Keep it simple and straightforward. If you don’t have the items I have suggested, substitute them with whatever you feel is right. Personalise it; make the spell your own.
Ritual. Not too fancy or complicated. Often, the rituals connect with a deity and the elements to work some magic.
To watch my talk click the link below:
If you have ailments or mental health issues, get them diagnosed by a medical professional. If it is advised, work out a course of medication. I do not advocate self-diagnosis. Always seek professional advice.
Never self-medicate, even with herbal remedies. Herbal remedies can be extremely potent; some are toxic. Others can react with prescription or over-the-counter medications in adverse ways. Please do not ingest any herbs if you aren’t sure you have identified them correctly. If you are on medication or have health issues, please do not ingest any herbs without first consulting a qualified practitioner.
Taken from Curative Magic by Rachel Patterson